There are many different kinds of wedding speaker, including:-

• the Rolls Royce, who is well oiled, almost inaudible and goes on for a long, long time,
• the pogo stick, who jumps along in fits and starts and sometimes collapses in a nervously gibbering heap …
• the fellow who thinks he can "wing it ",
• and the guy who prepares for six months beforehand.

Whatever your background and your previous experience at public speaking, we at Fine Wedding Speeches can help you to excel on the day.

It's my Wedding Speech - I'll "wing" it if I want to!

I'm going to start off by talking about "winging it". Some people are naturally funny, particularly down the pub after a few beers. They think that giving a wedding speech is not far removed from wisecracking in their local bar: "I'll just sink a few beers and see what comes out."

Consider this: when you wing it, will you soar majestically over the mountains like a golden eagle … or will you tear around headless chicken-like in ever decreasing circles before imploding spectacularly in your beer? … Or will you simply be a limp and totally flightless turkey?

I have known many people attempt the "winging" method. How many have I known succeed? Zero, zilch, zip all. This is an approach which always fails, unless you really are an experienced stand-up comedian - and even they "die" on stage sometimes.

You've probably seen this scenario yourself more than once: the speaker stands, looks up and in the cold light of day sees hundreds of pairs of eyes looking at him; his usual impromptu wit wings out of his head; he forgets the groom's name, his daughter's name; he starts to stammer; his knees knock and the contents of his bowels indicate their imminent desire to descend ankle-wards.

Completely humiliated, the speaker sits down, bows his head in shame and makes as sharp an exit as he can to drown his sorrows, his reputation as a wit shattered forever. But the worst thing for the speaker is that, more likely than not, his inglorious moment will probably be immortalised on videotape, remembered forever as The Wedding When Wisecracker Winged it.

Wedding Speeches Need Preparation

To deliver a speech of any sort requires some degree of preparation.

Mark Twain, an extremely gifted speaker, said, "It normally takes three weeks for me to prepare a short impromptu speech."

Most wedding speakers will not have the advantage of being extremely gifted, nor of being extremely experienced public speakers. Nevertheless nearly everyone can make a competent job of public speaking if they have the right help and follow an effective method of preparation.

Consider politicians, people who need to appear competent when addressing the public. Do they stand up and launch into something off the top of their heads? No, they have prepared an idea of the broad issues they want to talk about, the subjects they will cover, and the words they will use.

These professional public speakers frequently have an auto-cue, a lectern or other form of paper stand. They are not "speaking", they are "reading aloud". Admittedly they are doing it with animation and energy to involve and impress the audience. In many cases they have not written the speech itself, but have used a "Ghost Writer".

These practices are considered "tools of the trade" and successful public speakers of all kinds expect to use them. You can too!

The speaker who prepares his wise, witty and sincere words well in advance is the speaker who will "wow" them on the day; not only because his words will be well-chosen, but because he will have had time to practice his speech as many times as he feels necessary - in front of his wife, his mum, and maybe even bits of it in front of his mates down the pub.

Wedding Speeches Need Practice

Remember the 5 P's: Perfect Practice Prevents Poor Performance. By practicing in front of a sympathetic and constructively critical audience, you will be able to select, discard and hone jokes and anecdotes and sincerity so that you will become very confident of your material on the day.

Fear Factor? - Oh yes, been there, done that - coped anyway

Time and again, surveys have shown that people are generally more scared of public speaking than dying. You may be one of the many millions of people who are terrified at the prospect of being in front of an audience. Believe me, I can empathise with you - up to 1987 I was one of the sweating, knee-knocking hordes myself, preparing to be Best Man for my brother Nick. Up to that point in my life I hadn't been able to bring myself to say anything when there was more than one person present, even down to cracking a joke down the pub.

If, like many people, you feel a great personal fear about your commitment to giving this wedding speech, visit your public library (or Amazon?) and read Susan Jeffers' amazing little book, "Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway". In 200 pages she will show you ways to turn your fears into confident action. So if fear is your biggest obstacle to giving a successful wedding speech, learn how to use it as a tool to spur you to success.

What transformed me? I joined a public speaking club - International Training in Communication (ITC). At my first meeting I was asked - non obligatorily - if I would like to stand up and improvise for two minutes on the subject of pets. Like a condemned man I slowly walked to the lectern. As a family we had hamsters, budgies, goldfish, tortoises, cats and dogs. Could I remember their names, their foibles, their lives, their deaths? No. Terrified, the sweat dripped down my face like Chinese water torture. It was, for me, like going over a trench at the battle of the Somme. But, however haltingly, I did it. And I returned the next week, and the next. Six months later at Nick's wedding, people weren't just congratulating me on my speech, they were asking where they could book me!

And now, people do book me - I'm a speech coach, an after-dinner speaker, a storyteller, and I've even had success as a stand up comedian.

How much better would it be for you if your Somme experience occurred months before the wedding rather than at the wedding itself? Why not contact a speakers club?

Three websites follow:

The Association of Speaker's Clubs: www.the-asc.org.uk

Toastmasters International: www.toastmasters.org

ITC: www.itcgb.org.uk and www.itcintl.com

If you feel that such full and in-depth preparation is not for you, or if you don't feel inclined to train yourself up to near-professional standard for just one event, don't despair. At Fine Wedding Speeches you will find plenty of guidance, tips and advice which, if followed diligently, will ensure success on the day.

 

Now, having found out how to make your wedding speech, if you want help with what to say, I strongly recommend a visit to us at either of the following websites:

www.FineSpeeches.com

www.sparklingspeeches.co.uk

Wishing you fun preparing your speech and massive success on the day,

Bruno Barton

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