You and Your Wedding, magazine Article / Interview

For the Jan/Feb 2003 publication You and Your Wedding Magazine interviewed Bruno about wedding speeches. We copy the article below with permission.

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The cold night sweats started about three months before my brother's wedding. Endless nightmares ensued. I would stand up to make my Best Man (Person) speech and wouldn't be able to find my voice; I blushed so much everyone started pointing and sniggering; my best joke was met with a stony embarrassed silence and 150 pairs of eyes boring into my forehead. I'd wake up with a jolt, praying that 29 April had been and gone and Id missed it.

I think it is fair to say that from the moment my brother asked me to be his "best man" I spent every minute dreading their joyous day. Up until that point I'd spent my entire life successfully avoiding public speaking. This was one opportunity to make a complete fool of myself that I had no option but to accept.

It seems I'm not the only one who gets things a little out of proportion when it comes to making a wedding speech. Think back to the number of ashen-faced grooms, best men, fathers-of-brides and, increasingly, brides you have seen wandering around at weddings, clutching a dog-eared bundle of cards, sipping mineral water and vowing to have a great time -"once the speeches are out of the way".

Surely it can't be worth all that stress? For these who have a speech coming up, it's worth remembering that millions have survived to tell the tale, and help is at hand for those who really don't feel they can take on the task alone.

Most people are nervous about messing it up, and feel responsible for being witty and entertaining for the guests, says Gill Lomax, who runs poem and speech-writing company Poetic Licence. "It's often the best man who rings up because he's bottling it," she says. "The nerves come because they're not happy with their words. Once they're satisfied with what they're saying I can offer other tips, such as avoiding too much alcohol, and writing the speech on sturdy card. If you're likely to shake, flimsy paper can look really bad."

After thorough preparation and numerous practice runs, all you have to do is get through the day, says Bruno. "On the day, you'll probably experience a certain amount of stage fright. Don't be afraid of it - no actor, comedian or speaker ever delivered a successful performance without a measure of fear." To minimise the effects of stage fright:

• Find the time to take repeated, long, deep breaths.
• Hold your breath and tense your toes for four counts.
• Breath out for four counts and feel the tension ease.
• Repeat with feet, ankles, knees, etc, all the way up to the scalp.

AND DON'T FORGET:

• The audience is on your side.
• Almost every speaker is far more nervous than they look.
• Speak slowly and don't be afraid of pauses. Establish eye contact with the audience.

"Remain measured, use your pauses to allow the audience to digest your words, get to the end, propose whichever toast is yours to toast and sit down to take your applause," concludes Bruno.

And if none of that works, there's always the emergency exit!

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